Clarity comes when we Suck it Up!

Vacuuming....I don't like it.  Really I just don't like cleaning my house in general.  I grew up cleaning offices with my Mom on the weekends for money, and then when I went to Junior High I started mowing lawns, while my sister cleaned.  It is not that I am lazy, it is just in my mind cleaning the house has now taken on a different meaning.  Before it was a means to an end.  In high school I have very vivid memories of putting off mowing the back lawn until the last possible minute.  I mean, who wouldn't...I lived near Houston on the bayou where it feels like 90 degrees year round.  Anyway, I would still be riding the lawn lower when my date would show up and sit around with my parents, all just watching me work while they got caught up.  At the end of my job, I had something to look forward to, and to be honest my sister and I took alot of pride in our lawn mowing abilities.

Now though, as a stay-at-home mom I do not see much of a reward.  I am walking around picking up after my kids and husband, thinking "are you freaking kidding me?  I am not a maid!"  No in truth, my husband helps ALOT around the house, but he always wants a clean house.  Somehow I gave birth to two pigpens (you know from Charlie Brown) who think there is a bell attached to their finger that they can ring and I will come running!  As I pick up and vacuum, pure resentment for my lot in life and total disrespect of my job as a mother rushing through me.....Clarity hits in the form of a vacuum.  Just "Suck it Up!"  Clean up the mess, pray over the house, have a conversation with the kids of how their indifference makes me feel.  

I have been loosing myself in books over the last 18 months and I finally realize I have been cowering to my family, and wallowing in self destructive thoughts of how I feel negated and unhonored in my own home.  It hit me....my reading has become my GIANT "screw you family....do it on your own" coping mechanism (yes, I am high in the running for wife and mother of the year in case your were wondering!)  Who does that?  I totally went passive aggressive on my family, just like that Cheeto on the couch that somehow finds a crevasse behind the cushion, and magically lands under the couch for years to come (oh...you might clean under your sofa more than I do...I digress.)

Conversations take a lot of energy for me.  It takes work to move the couch and suck up that Cheeto, but if left alone it will slowly decay.  Words and thoughts are like that for me.  My mind is constantly having conversations with myself, my friends, my husband...I project upon them what I think they may say....I am pretty sure I have had a discussion for world peace and solved the problem in my head on the way to the store.  The problem is I leave those discussions in my head and some cause decay.  I have not had the tough conversations with my family...

Matthew 5:24 : Leave your offering there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come present your offering.

My Translation "Suck it up Girl".....Talk to your kids then I will restore gratefulness to your heart when it comes to serving them

Romans12:17 - Do not repay anyone evil for evil.  Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone.

My Translation "Suck it up Girl"....ignoring my kids and husband with my nose in a book does not fix the problem...I may even be prolonging and adding to the problem

Romans 12:18 - If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.

My Translation "Suck it up Girl" - Conversations about my own needs and desires with my family can be peaceful and not confrontational / stressful

So....my Clarity comes again with daily chores...what ever works these days!  I won't complain...I did see my daughter actually using the pooper scooper the other day in our backyard! "Mom, I scooped the poop for you," she called out....ahhhhhh, sweeter words have never been spoken!

Grab a bag and a pooper scooper.....

Who new that so much clarity could come from meticulously searching for dog poop to pick up in my backyard?  Sure enough, today I spent time going back and forth, carefully combing the yard up one side and down the other searching for the poop my children swore they would pick up before we even adopted a dog (3 years ago).  It makes sense though...when else do I have such focus on one particular task at home?  The kids sure aren't going to bother me while I am out their, that's for sure.  I can't take my phone, because my hands are busy and just yuck! What happens if I drop my phone in the bag full of poop I am concentrating on filling?  There is no coming back from that one (soaking a phone in a bag of rice won't help in that instance people!)  So I am focused, no distractions, so my mind wanders...what prompted me to come out here today at this time and pick up the poop?  Yesterday, the sweet neighbor kids that fill my yard everyday came over after school to play in the backyard and we had several "poop on the shoe" dilemma's!  The sweet little 3 year old little girl came up to me and said, "Smif, there is dog poop on my favoritest shoes ever!  What will we ever do?"  Yep, that is what prompted the poop and scoop!  I thought about her as I was scooping, I was serving my neighbors by picking up this poop so her favoritest shoes would not be poopified ever again!  Then my brain segwayed into the thought that I have spent the last ten years (as a parent) elbow deep in poop!  Who gets a dog the same year your youngest becomes completely potty trained?  Let's be honest, my definition of "completely" means no pull ups, no yelling from the bathroom to wipe the poop off, no reminders for my kids to wash their hands after using the bathroom, or finding surprise skid marks while doing laundry!  I would be that person who gets a dog and is stuck again with cleaning up the poop.  But, there are joys and celebrations that have come from all of those moments.

Next, I thought of the wise words of Vanilla Ice.."stop, collaborate and listen"(remember, I am picking up poop people).  I thought, his words are so wise.....and the clarity hit full on!  This was my time with God!!!!  He called me in this time to focus, get rid of distractions, clear the poop in my life, STOP and be, COLLABORATE with Him (talk), and LISTEN.  I thought of this scripture Jeremiah 33:3

 ‘Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.’

I realized this time, right here in the poop, I wanted to know the unsearchable truths of God that only He can tell me.  In my struggle with quiet time, He has ordered this time with Him.  So Clarity and Dog Poop is born.  I prayed about what  will come of this and why I had the calling to put this in a blog format.....and I listened.  I have been in constant struggle with God since the death of my nephew a few years ago....the thought came to me "you've been slinging poop at God for too long, it's time to clean it up so that your favoritest shoes can once again walk in the footsteps of Jesus with purpose and clarity."

So feel free to check in and encourage, because when your gentle reminder that God has been patiently waiting for you comes while picking up dog poop....well you start scooping!  And....I wont' always speak of poop, but feel free to giggle because my nephew and son assure me that saying and hearing the word poop is hilarious!  I won't judge!